I wrote this a few months ago and posted it on FB. I cracked myself up anyway. With some minor corrections I present to you
Wives and Daughters Abbreviated
The sweet wallflower meets a nice, snobby family with the debonair, cool son (and mama’s boy) and a dork son. She crushes on the dork.
The pretty wallflower is upset when her father marries a wicked step-mother. She comes to love her gorgeous, diva step-sister, but her dork loves the diva, and the diva pretends to love him back.
The cool dude and dork's mother dies.
The diva happens also to be a jilt, and the poor heroine is used by the diva to get rid of the jilted playa. The dork goes off, and the diva cheats on him with your average Joe who just so happens to be filthy rich.
The cool dude who is secretly married pines away and dies because his father is cruel; therefore, his marriage becomes public knowledge.
The dork returns.
The diva’s shallowness, deceit, and two-facedness are discovered. The dumb dork is crushed, and then immediately falls in love with the deserving wallflower. The author dies, and the fans make up a happily ever after for the dork and the wallflower.
I will resurface (hopefully) in December when this abominable semester at an abominable university is over.